

Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?
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Heironymus Merkin is an internationally successful singer approaching middle age who retells his life story in a series of production numbers on a seashore in front of his two toddlers and aged mother. Merkin's promiscuous relationships with women are explored, particularly Polyester Poontang and the adolescent Mercy Humppe. Merkin is constantly surrounded by a Satan-like procurer, Goodtime Eddie Filth, and an angelic 'Presence' who interrupts Merkin's biography with cryptic Borscht Belt-level jokes to denote births and deaths in Merkin's life. Newley periodically steps out of character to complain about his 'Merkin' role with an unseen director, two screenwriters, the film's producers and a trio of blasé movie critics who are turned off by the story's eroticism and lack of plot.
Cast

Anthony Newley
Heironymous Merkin

Joan Collins
Polyester Poontang

Bruce Forsyth
Uncle Limelight

Milton Berle
Goodtime Eddie Filth

Stubby Kaye
Fat Writer

George Jessel
The Presence

Connie Kreski
Mercy Humppe

Alexander Newley
Thaxted

Tara Newley
Thumbelina

Patricia Hayes
Grandma

Ronald Rubin
Skinny Writer

Louis Negin
Producer Peter

Tom Stern
Producer Ron

Judy Cornwell
Filigree Fondle

Margaret Nolan
Little Assistance

Yolanda
Trampolena Whambang
